‘I have a nasty head cold and I don’t feel like doing much of anything I’m going to bed and hopefully wake up in the morning without this headache.

Wonder what’s going on with the NaNoWriMo webring? 86 people in queue and it starts in three days! I signed up ages ago and still haven’t been added, now I see I’m not alone. Doesn’t it kinda defeat the purpose if you only get signed up to it half way throught the event? Or maybe not at all.

Attending a group workshop has to be the worst thing you could throw at somebody who is already surpassing her normal levels of courage to brave the venue in the first place. At 5pm this afternoon, shortly after signing up for Fernwood I had my first appointment with a lady called Karen in a ‘group’ scenario. She was going to show us how the machines worked and how to do each of the exercises the correct way.

The group consisted of myself and three other ladies. I couldn’t understand why two of them were even there. They had good figures, well what I consider good enough not to be in an intensive 12 month weight loss program. What weight loss? The other girl was just there because she wanted to attend some of the classes randomly and had to attend the workshop, it was procedure.

So there I am, attempting to work out how to use these machines, surrounded by tiny women with an even tinier instructor. Tiny as in about 4 foot. I’m fairly tall so at times I felt like gargamal in the smurf village. Not adding to the ‘comfort’ factor here. I continued with the pleasantries. I learned the ropes and went home thanking god that here on in is a solo flight.

Exercising isn’t the most flattering thing, not when It’s done correctly. Mirrors on all surrounding walls argue the fact that you left the house thinking you looked pretty damn good in that new workout gear and everybody looks like it is the last place on earth they want to be. That is, except for the body combat class, which were making me exhausted just watching through the glass.

So for my first day, being among all that was not the most pleasant way to settle ones nerves. I do believe it was a test of my will power in some obscure way. I could have ripped up the contract right there and then and ran the other way, sought solace with sugar and much self pity but I decided to prove that little voice wrong and stick it out instead.

I thought I might start participating in Photo Friday now that I have my nifty new camera. It’s interesting to see other’s interpretation of each theme. So here’s my first entry, fashionably late of course, a little rushed and not much outside option for me today. It’s been pouring rain all day.

When I say pouring rain I mean non stop, pelting, sideways, drenched in 4 seconds rain hail and other fun stuff. It’s a big deal in Sydney. It’s all over the news. Oh my god, hail, stop everything! Sydney has pretty much two types of weather, cloudy and stinking hot so anything above a minor shower is front page news.

NaNoWriMo site is up over there I went through too many design ideas and finally settled on something non-design pretty much, heh. Clean, simple, all about the content. Nothing links yet but I’ve mentioned that over there. Still got a fair bit to do with it.

Has given me an opportunity to trial run Wordpress and see if I like it. I am so far. It’s got a bazillion options b2 doesn’t give you.

I was watching the storm outside whilst doing my grocery shopping. Thunder, lightning, pelting rain, the works. It didn’t look like it was going to go away any time soon and when I went through the checkout it was still pouring. Then it starts hailing.

There were a bunch of customers hanging out front under shelter waiting for it to ease a little but I thought, what the hell, It’s not going to ease up, look at it. So I push a trolley load of groceries through the pouring rain/hail, open the hatch of my car, which doesn’t stay up by itself anymore so I’m holding the thing open with my shoulder while throwing bags of sopping groceries into the back of the car. By now I’m completely drenched. I take the trolley back to the store, people standing under the shelter looking at me like I was mad. Get back to the car, get in, put the keys in the ignition.. and the sun comes out, not a drop of rain!

The people under the shelter finish packing their dry groceries and I head off home looking like a drowned rat. So thanks to whoever is controlling the weather up there. Haha, yeah it worked, very funny..

I went down to Fernwood Women’s health club to check out the venue and what It’s all about yesterday. I’ve always driven past the place but never dared to venture in there and check it out so with a little persuasion from my mum, I finally did just that.

I went through three stages with this place. At first I was really impressed. The place was really nice so I sat down and filled out a fitness assessment form with which a lady went through with me, wanted to know my story, how much I wanted to lose etc. So far so good.

As she showed me around the place stage 2 kicked in. Complete and utter refusal to believe that any of this would do me any good. The reason I made myself believe this is because of an annoying social fear I’ve always had. Even online I’m shy and especially in groups. I was trying to come up with reasons, something from childhood, something genetic but there’s nothing I can pinpoint. So I started thinking negatively. What would people think of me? I don’t know what to do, people will laugh at me. All the stupid thoughts that have held me back in the past came flooding back and I wanted to run away.

Fortunately my brain kicked in half way through that little episode and I stayed long enough to get through the mini tour. Sitting down again, discussing prices and such I thought, to hell with it. I’ve gone through a majority of my life hiding for fear that I will be put down or laughed at and It’s stupid. All the time I’ve spent worrying about things that don’t matter. So I’m joining up on Monday. I’m going to ignore the fear and do it.

I’m signed up for 12 months so far. With that I have full access to the gym, dietitian, personal trainer, motivation, classes including things like yoga and body combat. Plus the place even has a beautician, full serviced bathrooms, with hairdryers and the works and serves breakfast if you wanted to go straight to work from there. Up where the treadmill and bikes are they also have a huge widescreen DVD where they run movies and music videos while you’re working out. The fact that It’s women only is another plus. I don’t have to feel intimidated by the g-string clad perfect figured females that only hang out at the gym to attract the guys

I’m so looking forward to getting started. I’ve bought myself a few new outfits and yeah, still trying to push away this social fear thing but It’s not going to get in the way this time. This whole thing is going to cost me quite a bit too, but I think It’s worth it, for the lifestyle change and the confidence it will give me

I’m contemplating switching this whole set up over to Wordpress, which as I hear, is pretty much the new branch of b2 anyway. I have so many hacks set up with this script at the moment which is why I’m a little scared about taking the leap. Will I lose them all? Probably. Will I be able to implement them all again? Probably not

I’m going shopping for some fitness type gear in a moment. I’m joining up with Fernwood, but I’ll talk more about that later.

Oh and here’s some more macro practicing I did earlier You can find beauty in places you would never look.

To see a world in a grain of sand. and heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand. and eternity in an hour. -William Blake

They should have just renamed tonights Aria awards to the Delta Goodrem show.

Having nothing to do today saw me waking at 8am, crawling back into bed and not seeing the light of day again until almost 1pm. I received a job offer via email for a company that went resume searching on seek.com.au. Unfortunately It’s city based and I’m not doing the hour commute this time around. I did that when I worked at Yellow Pages and got sick of it fast. There will be others anyway. Plus I could hardly understand the woman on the phone and I doubt my frequent sorry? and pardon? were impressing her.

For the rest of the afternoon I’ve been trying to work on some NaNo stuff (everytime I type that I think of Mork and Mindy) but I end up getting carried away on a link loop while browsing sites and don’t get anything done. Maybe tomorrow.

Why would you pay this much for such tackiness? It’s a bit of plastic with diamontes on it. Get yourself a bedazzler and run one up for 5 dollars lol

Seriously, why do people find it necessary to spend exorbitant amounts on brand names? It looks like a cat collar. Another example here. Now that one costs almost as much as my first car did.

I don’t understand the logic.