Looks like I took a few days off after my birthday, probably happily nestled in my soul searching mood that seems to be the theme of 2007. We had a cocktail party, everyone brought a different bottle of something along and I had a number of different drinks that could be made from the lot. Amongst the drinks were, blue lagoons, pina coladas, German Chocolate Cakes, Frozen Mudslides and a lot more

It was great, even though somehow on the way back to pick up a few things, my mum and dad got both mine and their keys locked in their house and had to break in to get them, my aunt fell and broke her nose the day before and hobbled painfully in aaand one of my guests fell ill and couldn’t come, spent the night at the hospital only to tell her there was nothing she could do until the next day anyway. They do say bad things happen in threes. Who decided that was a good idea.

So my sweetie gave me a brand new snazzy DVD drive and writer with lightscribe, and I also scored a bottle of Sarah Jessica Parkers, Lovely. Which is by the way, lovely. I only wish it stayed on me longer. It seems to fade really quickly

It was really nice as it’s been a while since I actually did anything for my birthday.

It’s hard to live in a sports crazy country and hate sports. Rugby season comes along and I groan quietly to myself while the workers fixing the guttering on the house next door argue over which team is going to win the finals. You hear the odd window shattering burp in between sentences and if you’re listening hard enough, you can actually hear them scratching themselves. Ugh..

I don’t exactly know what led me to have such a distaste for sport. I did my fair share of it during school. Tennis, hockey, basketball and swimming. Maybe my hatred of rugby league and cricket comes from the many evenings into weekends my dad sat staring at the both of them. You know when the next season rolls around, there will be something else to take its place. Or maybe it’s just that I was born with a love for art and culture with no outlet for it. I wanted to go to museums and musicals, theme parks and cafes. I think my dad took me to the football once and all I remember about it is how pretty the hills were that we sat and ate hotdogs on. The beginning of a definitive dislike of sport.

Yep, today was the big day I had a cocktail party and drank all manner of things.

As a result I am now exhausteded.

And am going to bed.

Will fill in the blanks tomorrow

I haven’t bought a Wii, I don’t think I ever will. There’s something about breaking away from old traditions and solid ways of gaming that makes me feel nauseated. I don’t really want to dance around my living room swinging a glorified TV remote. I won’t dammit!

Evidence that the Wii remote is a weapon of mass destruction

Sony pretty much had me for life, which is why I’m so angry about the PS3. For starters, why the hell release a “revolutionary” console after everyone has already spent their money on Christmas, holidays, back to school paraphernalia and all the rest of the junk that becomes late January, early February spending? (I’m talking about the Australian release of the PS3 here, of which has not yet happened but is apparently about to. I am aware of it’s stealth release in the US)

Secondly, for the love of god, what is with this $999 price tag? I really want want a PS3, really, really want one. Not just because I’m sick and obsessed, but because this thing is probably to date the most fully featured console hardware release yet. We’re talking total performance capability of 2 teraflops (Why a processing volume term had to sound like something out of clown college, I don’t know) , Blu-ray with data transfer rates of 324MB per second, ports galore, the ability to support 7 bluetooth controllers simultaneously and at this rate, it could probably also cook your dinner and walk your dog.

But $1000 for a console? Ouch.. No really, it hurts. I don’t know if I can bring myself to part with the cash. Add to the fact that Australia charges a ridiculous $99 per game and what games? What is the 9 conspiracy about? See because Australia doesn’t have as big a population as the US we aren’t as important when it comes to shoving advertising and new products down our throats. Wow, Sony, you aren’t even trying to make friends here.

So I’m pissed about it, and I refuse to buy it, even if I did have $999 lying around. I’m boycotting your PS3 release Sony. I don’t care how beautiful your console is. I won’t buy it until you drop your price and stop making these mech warrior machines that no body can pay for. You should have stayed away from Blu-Ray. No one cares about Blu-Ray in Australia yet. Wow, I mean half of the oblivious in this country wouldn’t even know what a PS2 was. Hell a kid in kmart the other day just got his first ps1.

I want your ultra shiny, teraflop powered godmachine. I just don’t want it yet.. because I’m not talking to you right now. Not until you make things affordable for us middle class gamers.

I must admit, I’m finding it extremely difficult to write anything of late. I feel like I’m going through a really low period of my life and It’s strange how accurately I can pinpoint these low points and when they are going to arrive. If only I could discover when they intended on leaving also.

I’ve tried to delve into the reasons for these moments of folding in on myself and it’s not an easy journey. I find reasons for the madness and then throw them aside thinking that I’m trying too hard to find a perfect answer. Maybe the fact that I constantly dwell on finding reasons for my souls hibernation is the very reason that I can’t just let it be.

I have watched my interests and passion in many elements of my life, dwindle to nothing more than a dull flame, yes watched it all, in fact I almost let them. I look back on what I’ve done and I know it’s insane, I know that nothing good will come of it and that it isn’t making me happy. So why do I keep on doing it? Why do I believe, that anything I am truly passionate about, will never really happen. I stop doing it, I give up, I run away. It’s easier to call defeat before it even begins.

I hate it.

Yes I want to change it. I want to discover the soul and depth of me that I once loved to linger in. I have such strong beliefs and visions that it becomes overwhelming in time. There’s so much I need to do, want to do, have to do and time seems to keep closing in. I feel like I’m going to end up at the end of this journey without having ever begun.