Just a couple of macros I took using my Sony Ericsson k800i as promised back in this post. It’s very overcast today so the colours aren’t as vibrant but this is just a phone camera and thus why I’m impressed.

I’m not sure how I feel about Smorty. I signed up with them a little while back and on initial inspection considered the prospect may be a good deal. Now I think about it however, I’m not so sure.

The reason I’m feeling this way is because I detest money. Some people like money and fair enough, it can buy you pretty things, but I hate it and everything about it. If I didn’t have to, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to make any of it.

That’s why I have a problem with Smorty and now I feel like I’m selling out. I’ve felt that way about Google Adsense for a while too although Adsense holds some interest to me. I’ve never earned millions with them (not even tens) but the money aspect of it isn’t important. I believe their links to be relevant and helpful in relation to what I write and that’s why I keep it. With Smorty the prospect seems to be, at the core, based on spam and greed.

Smorty offers you products or services on websites to review. In return, you get paid to write these reviews. Here’s the problem however. Everything they have offered me so far, is in pretty poor taste, tacky, bad products, too expensive products or just ridiculously expensive software that can be found open source in a much better package. I just can’t write anything good about any of it.

The other part of this that’s starting to become annoying is that every second blog I visit has a Smorty review, and because many of the offers are listed and taken up at the same time, they are the same reviews, the same products and it’s becoming rather boring and almost embaressing stumbling across them.

I had to ask myself, regarding the one review I did make for them. Do I REALLY think these digital photo frames are good value? Would I have much use for them? My answer was no. Shopping cart software? No. I’m wondering how long this is going to take before every blog on the planet consists of nothing but advertising and paid posts.

So I’m sorry Smorty. Although I am still waiting for my one review, which was four days ago to be paid (they claim up to 72 hours to review, but I’m skeptical about how well they can keep up with their promises) I now really am not too fussed if they do so or not. I’m not going to jump on this bandwagon, I just can’t. It goes against everything I believe in and I feel it’s just going to get worse.

I don’t want to lose sight of what I have a blog for and that is to write about what I love to talk about or think about or whatever about. I don’t want to feel forced to write about things I don’t believe are a good deal or are worthy of a million return links. I really am afraid of what this means for the future of blogging.

I’m doing a huge cleanup at the moment. Not of any one thing in particular; rather, a number of small things. Maybe I’m under the illusion that small things lead to bigger things and I might actually get something done this week. Heh, I doubt it.

I’m going through my bookmarks and reads especially. A lot of bloggers have dropped off the face of the earth or just don’t write anymore, it’s sad really. I understand that it just isn’t enjoyable for some people anymore, but I think, this sort of thing is kinda medicating to the soul. It’s theraputic to sit down and write about how you feel, or what you’re doing. It’s almost a way to touch base with ourselves, something that in the midst of day to day living, sometimes gets pushed into the corner.

So I’m having to delete quite a few If I delete you and you come back or you aren’t really gone and intend on coming back, let me know, because I have you on my list for a reason; I think you have something interesting to say and I enjoy reading about your opinions, lives and rants etc.

Bookmarks are another thing. Good god there are a lot of them. It takes me a good minute to scroll down to the bottom of my bookmarks. I have the Scrapbook add on installed for Mozilla which helps eliminate the 404s on interesting things I’d like to keep a copy of because it does just that, keeps a copy of it. I have no idea how much space it’s taking up, probably a lot by now. But I loves it too much.

I’m working on a number of different projects right now. In the midst of scripting a game, creating maps etc. I’m searching for information on a really good set up for PC song writing and recording. I need to finally get something recorded. A bazillion ideas in my head are really going nowhere fast. I’m also drooling over a number of gadgets and goodies including new graphic cards, cameras, coffee machines and LCD monitors. My daydreaming adds up to a lot of dollars.

I really love the feeling of getting my computer all organised and cleaned up. It gives you a really accomplished feeling. I’m trying to figure out how to pass on this feeling to washing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom and so on. I haven’t quite the motivation that I have to run a clean up and defrag from the comfort of my reclining chair. If only you could defrag the dishes.

On the journey back to my house from town there is a small bridge that, because of it being so narrow, can only take one car at a time. On one side of the bridge is a give way sign and so when something is coming in the other direction to cross the bridge, naturally you have to wait until they pass before you can go ahead.

Last night, driving home, I was bitching at some idiot who had not done the polite thing and was sitting on the other side of the bridge behind the give way sign with his high beam blaring right in my eyes. I continued all the same but just as I got closer to crossing the bridge this “idiot” turns out to be a police car. He turns his siren on, lights flashing and speeds accross the bridge forcing me off the side of the road.

Now I thought ok, I did the right thing, he must be off to an emergency situation.. but no. As soon as he got past the bridge, off went the lights and siren and he continued at a normal pace. What the hell is that about? Talk about abuse of power. I bet he was having a good old laugh to himself about it to. Such an ass.

I’ve been playing the beta of Lord of the Rings Online for a few days and at first glance I can’t say I was very impressed.

I can’t play this thing smoothly with any resolution above low for starters so my characters and world look like a big crayon smudge. Apparently in beta you don’t get the high res textures so perhaps that is my issue. Or maybe it won’t matter anyway because if I can’t play the game with low crappy textures what is game play with high res going to be like? Pain. Ick.

Anyway, I have a decent enough video card, but this, like Vanguard and EQII (wow I seem to be Sony’s bitch) seem to eat resources for breakfast. Granted this is not exactly a great canvas to judge a game by, but anyway.

So, my first impressions of the game? Camera control is stiff and awkward, my character seems to run like she just wet her pants. The combat animation is painfully slow and juvenile. Why do I have to be practically sitting on my target to attack them? I can’t click from a distance and run toward them. I have to walk up to them, shake their hand then proceed to slice and dice. I can check a command to stick to the target, but that’s not entirely what I had in mind. I don’t want to follow my enemy, I want to run circles around them.

Graphically, the world is gorgeous, as you would expect, although somewhat typical. it makes for some perdy screenshots. There’s some nice field and grass effects (Akin to smoking crack in a corn field)

I was going to include a flash clip here but have been battling with wordpress and embedding for over an hour. How the hell do I embed something with controls? I can only embed the swf file but without controls at the bottom. I am obviously doing something horribly wrong.

Anyway.

The fine young woman above would be my burglar/thief/rogue, same class, different MMO. She wasn’t very happy at the time as I had just fit her with a lovely patchwork tattered robe and the most unflattering pants you can buy with less than a silver. I was very impressed with the character customization, had fun with that except when it came to adjusting your characters size (read, assets). The two extremes did nothing much except take my girl from an A cup to a double F. I picked a happy medium.

I didn’t get to explore much of the land. I landed myself a craft barely, which confused me even more so. I have no idea what that part of LOTRO is going to be like but it seemed unfinished somehow. Unfortunately I joined the beta fairly late and due to work and unwork commitments, didn’t make it too far.

I will say though, after having to return to World of Warcraft after receiving the horrible news that Vanguards system requirements would kick my ass, I’m definitely considering the switch to LOTRO. The storyline, questing and expansive beautiful world kept my attention and continues to hold my curiosity well after game play.

I was lurking in some photography forums earlier in the week and stumbled across an interesting topic of conversation.The majority of photos taken now with digital format are never seen in print.

There’s something classic about having the image to hold. Many people find it much easier to take in information from a printed image rather than a computer screen because there is something soothing about having the image with you, having it on display in your home or office. I believe that kind of intimacy with our memories is important.

The other side of the coin is of course simplicity, ease of use, convenience, environment, technology. Why come this far to ignore what’s right in front of our face?

I love the new technology (newish) of the digital photo frame. There’s something all so very “Harry Potter” about it all. I can have my printed image, my closeness but have it without the need for wasted paper or time consuming editing and printing. PLUS, not only do I get to keep my old fashioned values but I get to do it with style. I love the idea of being able to have an entire folder of images randomly play through and the image doesn’t even need to be static anymore.

I love this digital frame in particular. The size is perfect and you wouldn’t think twice about it being just a regular photo frame. Plus MPEG support! Which is the really cool part. We’re not only talking about photos here, but now we’re talking videos too.

I love the idea of having people that can’t be around me feel like they’re right there with me. And these are the bestest gift ideas. The gadget addict in me is seriously hovering over these.

You can check these ones out over at Digital Framez

Yeps, I have new toys. Well a new toy. My mobile phone, a previous and rather outdated Ericsson finally decided to provide me nothing in the way of the future, so, let me introduce to you my new phone.

She’s a tasty tasty phone. The SE k800i. I’ve had it for a few days now and am yet to explore the endless goodies she beholds. I’m very impressed with it and had wanted it for some time before finally giving in. Not cheap, but whatever.. I tend to have this problem with spending absolutely everything I earn on electronic/computer/gadgety stuff. I’m obsessed and a big geek. Anyway.

So the camera on this baby is absolutely amazing. Now let me make it known that I am aware that this thing would be a 2007 digital cameras breakfast, but for a camera phone.. very nice. It’s 3.2 megapixel, and although night shots and dark room shots tend to get gradually grainy at larger sizes, natural light shots are beautiful and crisp.

Sound, UI, features, there really isn’t anything I’m not happy with and although I’m not going to give a full detailed review of the phone here I am going to say that I am practically bubbly over my new phone.. and I don’t often get bubbly!

I shall endeavor to get some day shots tomorrow to back up the emphatic joy being displayed within this post.

Ok I’m posting this because there seems to be a ridiculous outburst happening over this post regarding bipolar. People please stop reading my words wrong. In this post, I rant and rave about something that happens in many corners of the world in many different aspects of life. Let me get this straight, because some people seem to think that I actually believe people that suffer from depression are making it up.

HELL NO.

I am pissed at the small group of narrow minded idiots out there who choose to make up random shit about themselves to gain sympathy. Not needed or wanted sympathy, I’m talking about sympathy because daddy won’t let them borrow the car. Come on.

In one of the comments -

Mood swings and depression is normal. It’s when they start to fuck your life up that you have a problem.

I know, but I’m not referencing genuine people like yourself, I’m not talking to that population. I’m talking to the ones who’s lives are not in any way about to be fucked up by this or ever will be.

Illnesses like bipolar disorder (real bipolar, not “Oh noes, I had a mood swing) have biological basis. Scans have showed this and there is “psychosurgery”, a form of brain surgery used to cure extreme depression. It lasers the part of brain causing the depression. You can’t just “cheer up”.

See what you just said? That is exactly what I said in my post. REAL bipolar not mood swings and cranky tantrums because your best friend stole your favourite shade of lipstick. The people I refer to in this post are people that like to make things up because it gains them popularity. No one who is genuinely bipolar can make it go away no, but these people making it up to be cool CAN. That is who I am making this post about.

Now let me tell you about myself, so perhaps you can see that I have absolutely no reason to believe what some people are now assuming I believe.

Depression came into my life about 15 years ago and completely fucked it up. I spent days wondering what the hell I was on the planet for, huddled in corners, crying until I thought I would die, laughing and happy as hell only to have it all crash down into some of the darkest moments of my life, repeat.

At around 24 I had completely alienated myself from society. I stayed in one room, with no light and ordered nothing but home delivery to survive. I did this for 6 months or so. All my calls were screened, even my parents. My life was nothing, it meant nothing. It meant existing, or trying to. I eventually got forced out of it by doctors who told me I was moments away from major heart failure if I didn’t stop living like that and STILL I didn’t care. I said hey, great, an easy way out of it.

My highs and lows are drastic and they last for days, even weeks. Even now as I’m typing this I’m feeling sick because I know that tomorrow I have to get up and go out into the world and try to be someone everyone else wants to be me. When I’m on a high it’s horrible. I am bored 24/7 because my thoughts are moving at a million miles an hour and I can’t fit everything into that second that I want to do. I get so frustrated and in a panic because I can’t think for the noise in my head. I have to sleep, and through sleep comes more pain.

I know what this is about and let me reiterate right now. I, in no way shape or form, believe that depression is something you can snap out of. Because god knows, If I could I’d do it in a second. It is serious and my post was simply aimed solely to those that definitely do not have it, but pretend to, to gain attention for all the wrong reasons.

That is all.

Sometimes I type the name of a site into google, rather than the full address in the location bar, even though I am fully aware of the correct site address.